WELCOME TO MEN O PAUSE

In the past few months I've been spending more time with my female friends. Most of us are in our 50's and have experienced the physical and psychological symptoms of our changing lives and bodies.

"Why do I feel so tired? Where has my sex drive gone, what's with all this weight, I'm eating less and gaining more, these hot flashes drive me crazy, why am I so sad, my life isn't that bad, yet I can't find my happy place?

I was reading through some old cards and letters I had written when the kids were young. I was shocked when I suddenly realized how much of myself had been invested in my mommie role. Everyting in these letters was about their lives, their activities, what they were/not eating and where they were going. There was no space in between the lines to even take a breath to ask myself what I wanted or needed - all of my energy was directed at their individual needs.

By the time the children are grown and have spread their wings we are faced with the task of re-defining who and what we really are.

For those of us who had careers while childrearing, this period of self reflection may not be so challenging. For the rest of us it can be quite a journey. Along with the empty nest, we are now confronted with the many physical changes that have suddenly shown up. How we choose to deal with these many symptoms requires a different way of seeing and experiencing who we are becoming.

There is great wisdom in nature. The seasons, the tides, the travels of the moon and celestial bodies all are in harmony with one another. What can be learned from being one with it?

1. Our bodies are trying to tell us something. Pay close attention. Even men-o-pause symptoms are revealing something deeper, something that has been waiting to be explored. Perhaps the time wasn't there before for this self discovery process? Nature is drawing us in. She knows what our needs are at his vulnerable time in our lives. She is always trying to awaken us to look beyond our self limiting thoughts about who we are.

2. Trust the wisdom of the Universe to tell you exactly what you need and when you need it. You have the time now, you didn't before. This is why it is all happening right now, you are finally available for yourself and your needs - nurture your needs without guilt.

3. Know that this is yet another cycle of life. All of it is perfect just as it is. It won't stay this way, it just feels like that. Trust it and go with the wisdom of nature to tell you exactly what is needed. A hot bath may work well for hot flashes, a long soak with our favorite oils or bubbles can lift our spirits. Remember when we couldn't even use the potty without our kids pounding at the bathroom door? Now we can take as long as we want, it's ok to give to us now. Remember the guilt when we needed a night out? Take yourself out now - go dancing in the moonlight naked, put flowers in your hair, buy yourself dinner.

4. Your body is changing, change is good. Embrace it. Do your energies need re-directing? You now have time to reflect and choose again.
Trust yourself, love yourself, be true to your own nature and watch what happens. Nature is supporting you right now, can you hear her calling?